Just Desserts
by millstone1005
Summary: [one shot] Taylor KILLS Dean Hess and is arrested for murder! Humor [and nakedness!]


**Title:** Just Desserts

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to _The O.C_.. Not for profit.

**Description:** Dean Hess has a surprise for Taylor, and vice-versa.

* * *

Dr. Kim paused as she walked past the closed door of Jack Hess's office on the way back to her own office. She thought she heard some strange noises coming from inside. That is, if she could hear anything clearly over the noise of all the students in the hallway between classes. It sounded like maybe some furniture was being pushed around. Dr. Kim shrugged to herself. Maybe Hess was just rearranging his office. She didn't think anything more of it and hurried on her way. 

However, the nosy Dr. Kim couldn't be more wrong. Just then, inside Jack's office (his _locked_ office, thank-you-very-much), the Dean of Discipline and his 17-year-old more-than-willing disciple were getting it on, hot and heavy on the floor. What the Principal of the very prestigious, very exclusive Harbor School had heard was a couple of chairs being kicked out of the way to make room for them to shag on the rug like a hooker with her john.

And shag they did. They fucked like bunnies – Energizer bunnies. All through fifth period. Until both fell exhausted. Or at least Jack did (you know, the way men get). Afterwards, the two snuggled together, naked, on the floor, up against the desk. Or at least Taylor tried to. When Jack didn't reciprocate, Taylor could sense with her woman's intuition that something was on his mind. She snuggled up under his armpit and put her free arm around his 6-pack abs (or where his 6-pack abs should be, anyway).

"What's wrong, Snookums?" Taylor asked, in that wheedling, whiny voice of hers.

Snookums sighed. "Twinkie, we can't do this any more."

Twinkie gave Snookums what for her was her best sexy smile and reached down and stroked his manhood. "Just give Little Jack a little time..."

Jack shifted Little Jack out of Taylor's claws, err, I mean, touch. "No, Tay, I mean, we can't see each other any more."

Taylor sat up, livid, and turned to look at him straight on. "_What_? What the _hell_ are you talking about?"

Jack sighed again and grabbed Taylor's hand. "Look, TayTay, this is a really bad idea. If anybody finds out, it would ruin my reputation, ruin my career. I can't afford that. I'm a really ambitious guy, and you just aren't worth it."

By this time, Taylor was beyond livid. She was... she was... well, she didn't have the words for it, but she was really, really mad! She pulled her hand out of his grip.

"_You_! Why is this all about _you_! What about _me_! I want you! And I always get what I want! My mother always gets what she wants, and I'm a chip off the old block! Everybody says so!"

"Twinkie, I'm so sorry..."

By now, Taylor couldn't even see straight, she was so mad. She was beyond mad. She was filled with rage, and like The Incredible Hulk, you wouldn't like her when she's angry.

"No! No! No! I won't allow it."

She tried to push him back down on the floor, with one hand on his groin, and her mouth pressed up against his. She knew that he couldn't resist a strong woman. But to her surprise he did! He even tried to push her off! How dare he!

In desperation, Taylor reached above her, and grabbed from the top of the desk, the Dean's desk lamp. She whacked him over the head with it, several times. It seemed to stun him and he fell back onto the floor. That wasn't good enough for Taylor. In her enraged state, like the Hulk, she had super-human strength. She used it to move quickly over behind his head.

She took the power cord of the lamp and wrapped it around his neck and pulled as hard as she could, yelling, "You can't leave me! You're all I have! I have no friends, my mother hates me, everybody hates me! You can't leave me all alone like this! If you leave me, I'll have nothing, _NOTHING_! I won't let you do it, I won't!"

* * *

Down the hall, Dr. Kim heard all the yelling and commotion coming from Dean Hess's office. She knew that he wasn't married, so she figured it was some kind of girlfriend. Obviously, he was breaking up with her, and the woman wasn't taking it well. Dr. Kim tried to ignore it, until she just couldn't. Finally, in frustration, she threw down her pen and marched down the hall to Hess's office, intending to tell them to take their domestic arguments elsewhere. 

When she found the door locked, she banged on it and yelled at Hess to open the door. When nobody answered the door, and the woman continued to scream unintelligibly, Dr. Kim called for security. They had the keys to every door. While she was waiting, she continued to pound on the door and try and get Hess and/or his floozy to answer the door or at least shut up. With no success.

After a minute or so, a couple of Harbor's security officers arrived. They pushed their way through the gathering crowd of students.

"Dr. Kim?"

"Smith, Jones." She gestured at the door. "Could you please open the door?"

Smith got out his master key and opened the door, and the three of them entered, completely unprepared for the scene before them.

Smith hurried over and pulled the naked co-ed away from the Dean, grabbing her clothes from the floor and thrusting them at her in the process. Taylor just grabbed the clothes and clutched them to her, making no move to put any of them on. Her gaze never wavered from her lover, lying stiff as a board on the floor.

Jones rushed over to the Dean. He loosened the cord that was around his neck and felt for a pulse. He looked sadly at Dr. Kim and shook his head.

"He's dead, Kim."

* * *

After the police finished hauling the naked, writhing, ranting, murderous Social Chair and her very dead paramour out of sight, Dr. Kim looked around at all the students and staff who were just milling around, seemingly dumbstruck. She clapped her hands sharply. 

"Students! Boys and girls! Everybody get back to class! There's nothing to see here! Go on, go ahead!"

_There's nothing to see here_. Boy, was that a lie for the ages. Dr. Kim hung back making sure that everyone cleared out before she headed for her office to get back to her own work, which this day would include a few interviews with the police, the writing of press statements, and so on, trying to spin this whole ugly mess to Harbor's advantage, if possible.

Once back in her office, Dr. Kim dropped into her desk chair, turned on her computer, and just stared at the blank screen. After a while she shook her head to clear it. _Get it together, Kim_, she told herself. She always called herself "Kim". Well, it wasn't like she had any other choice. She cursed the day that Cupid's arrow struck and made her fall in love with Harry Kim, turning her very serviceable Kim Lee into Kim Kim.

Damn that Cupid, for herself and for Taylor and the Dean, too. God that was a mess.

Dr. Kim shook her head again and started typing. Maybe she could head this thing off by retroactively firing Jack Hess. She quickly composed a letter of termination and back-dated it to before his... well, his... termination. Kim smiled. Yes, that would do nicely.

* * *

The End. 


End file.
